[instiz] WHY ARE WOMEN IN THEIR EARLY 20S SO AGAINST MARRIAGE?

 

I’m an anonymous reader born in 2001.

When I talk about the future with my friends, the guys say they definitely want to get married, have 3 babies, etc.
Meanwhile women are all unsure about marriage
Most people have this mindset of “if I give birth I will, but if not, I won’t”
I think I saw something similar on the news the other day. Why are women in their early 20s so negative about marriage?

A lot of women who live alone suffer from depression.
So isn’t it good to marry someone you love and raise a family?

Does it change from the late 20s?

1. I’m a woman in my late 20s

When I was young, I wanted to get married and have children, but in reality… When you get married, there are a lot of responsibilities to bear and a lot of losses. Losses at work, losses in your career, domestic responsibilities such as housework, and responsibilities to your husband’s family (parents-in-law)…

I like my boyfriend (we dated for 5 years), and other families around me are cute, but honestly, it’s still harder for women in Korea, a Confucian country. East Asian cultures are all agricultural, so it’s similar anywhere you go.

Also, 80% of young people are working in small and medium-sized businesses, but there is a large financial gap with people working in big companies and working hours are long (even when compared globally, the wage gap is larger and working hours are longer), so there is no leisure time and it is difficult to take care of oneself.

Large corporations, public corporations, professionals, and civil servants have money and stability, so they get married and have children, but most people who don’t have enough money hesitate to get married.

So, it seems like girls in their early 20s say they don’t get married because they’ve heard other people talk about the bad things associated with it 

2. Hmmm… For me, it’s because once I marry, I’ll have to give birth?

Honestly your body after giving birth and before giving birth will be totally different, so is your healthㅋㅋIf both the woman and the man get married wrong, their lives will be ruined, so I don’t want to marry anyone unless I really like them ㅎ

3. Have you thought about how many women fall into depression once they get married? It seems like you haven’t looked at the comparison 

4. Among the 50 married women around me,

There are about 4 people who seem genuinely happy…

Everyone else has a lot to lose.

If you’re a Korean woman and you end up getting married,

5. Marriage is what connects two families.

Can you really marry someone just by “looking” at how he is as a person? Sigh and the thought of just the 2 of you living together?

Who will raise the child, and are conditions created to raise the child there?

Right now, unmarried women are asked whether they plan to get married or whether they have a lover.

They will give you the same reasons as if you asked a married women if they are going to have children and whether they have children, the answers should be enough for you to understand

Besides, if your body breaks down, if your health and everything else falls apart, who will take care of you?

If you think about this realistically, and realize “ah it still looks like a flowery garden in my head” then you can go ahead and do it…

It’s obvious that I’m going to have a hard time, so if I’m going to get married, at least I’m going to marry someone from a similar family to ours.

If you can’t even enjoy leisure in your own family, just date instead

6. I’m not in my 20s and I’m married, but I understand the feeling of not wanting to get married. Because I was like that too… I had negative thoughts about marriage, perhaps because I grew up seeing how my mother was treated by her in-laws. Because there doesn’t seem to be anything good about getting married.

When I actually got married, it was better than I thought and my child is very pretty, but… I was tormented by my in-laws (I even considered s****ide), and I honestly felt aggrieved when I compared my situation with my husband, who had various hobbies and could come home late, and looked after the child at home. So compared to him, I feel like my life is unfair

7. This is the first generation where you can have the choice to get married or not… In the past, it was a must to get married and if you didn’t you would be treated like an old maid 

8. Do you know the process of giving birth? … Tearing raw flesh… Doctor saying they can’t give anesthesia… You don’t even have the strength to push out your own baby… But these days, we live in an individualistic society, so it’s not like in the past where men earn money and women only do housework… After giving birth to a child, I have to take care of my child after work, and I have to do all the dishes and laundry. People say it’s okay to share the burden…^^ but this never works ㅋㅋ Economically, the times are not the same as before.. In many ways, I wonder if I will do anything.. ㅠ When a person gives birth to another person, her body is damaged for the rest of her life.. I’m in my late 20s, and if I’m not confident that the man loves me so much that he is devoted to me, I’ll have no intention of having children. . These thoughts become more common when you’re in your late 20s because the reality hits you then

9. Just looking at how hard my mom was having it, I knew

10. What men in their early 20s think: When you get married, you can have unlimited s*x + have children.

What women in their early 20s think: If I get married, will I lose the treatment and youth I currently enjoy from the opposite sex, and even lose my body if I get pregnant

You’re asking a rhetorical question

It varies depending on age

But no matter how old a man is, he thinks that getting married will give him a sense of stability and good luck, and that fact makes him have a strong desire to get married.

On the other hand, women, especially in Korea, inevitably have a lot of things they’ll have to “stomach”, so compared to men, they have less desire to get married